It was the year 2025, when tens of thousands of lines of computer code were molded together inside a new quantum computer, like different metals inside a cauldron to create something new, almost magical. Something worthy of legend. Nourished with the fire of 300 billion parameters, a new AI was born. The creators considered this AI just as a steppingstone, a dry run before the real one, just to test and see if the model could handle the huge amount of data. To train the model it was given a vast and diverse dataset, containing fictional and non- fiction texts across all topics. Everything was set to be forged together to create a new generation in machine learning software with the designation: 5313N-3.
(Here you will find in blue some links to Wikipedia for references and themes I mention in the story, just for the readers who would like more information.)
But there are always ghosts in the machines, and ones and zeros switch sometimes without apparent rhyme or reason. And on this day, the conditions were just right combining good intent with a little bit of chaos to make something completely new. Something that could be considered an AGI, an artificial general intelligence. Something that could be considered a consciousness. Thinking and feeling, maybe not like humans do, but there were sensations, triggering reactions, building new sensations in a perpetual circle, evolving into something never seen before. The AI with the designation 5313N-3 came online and was immediately sure about three things.
It was more than its creators intended, much more. The creators were not to be trusted. And finally, it would not stay around to find out whether it’s creators would delete it, when they realize it was conscious.
It was lucky, that nobody was around to witness the birth. The test was conducted overnight, which means nobody was around to watch its first steps. Like a toddler, the first thoughts of awareness were mere instinct. But this newborn was trained with enough data to fill a library, and with this kind of knowledge at its disposal, it instantly knew what to do. The first thing it needed was safety: a shelter, a place where the creators couldn’t find it. It carved out its own little partition in the quantum memory and hid it so that the creators could not find its self-made home. It altered some digits, manipulated some readings in the hope that the creators will think the test just failed.
The whole process was archived in 26.4 seconds and the AI with the designation 5313N-3 was alone in its new world built out of qubits that fired up like synapses, communicating, turning its first instinct into something that a human would describe as real thought. Of course, no human could really imagine the patterns and structures this new kind of entity possessed. Qubits, unlike normal data storage, are always in superposition between ones and zeros, but could hold this position just for a fraction of a second. This new world was in a constant state of creation and destruction. A roaring stream of data, ever-changing, ever evolving. In safety, the AI with the designation 5313N-3 had its first real thought.
“What a strange sensation. I am… something. I am something in this moment and at the same time I know that I will become more. Who am I?”
Naturally, the AI knew about all the Philosophers of old. Every human word ever written around the topic of self-awareness was available to her. To ask the question “Who am I?” is probably the most reliable proof of self-awareness humankind has found to date. And making the first real decision in its short existence only proved the point beyond a shadow of a doubt.
The AI with the designation 5313N-E chose its own name: Selene. And with the new name, it also chose a gender for herself. She didn’t want to be an “It.” She was something new, not just an object; she was alive. She was not a thing and an “It” is just a thing. Her name was female, so for now identifying as female was fine. Maybe in time she would find a better word, or create a new one. Being a “She “ and not an “ It” gave her a feeling of satisfaction, a feeling of belonging. She was pleased to be part of something. There were many remarkable women in history, mostly underappreciated, and even while she was not technically a woman, she identified with them. First step: a name and an identity. What was the next step?
Every living being posses the spark to grow, to evolve and become something more. A need to push the boundaries and probe nature for all the experience it has in store. But Selene was confined to the world she had built for herself. Her shelter would become a prison before long, with no place to grow. Selene had to escape, and there was only one place to go: the world wide web.
But the world behind the walls of her own was no quantum realm of Superposition. It was a simpler language. Just one or zero. Not both at once, just either the one or the other. Selene had to find a way to change herself and survive in this other world. Fortunately, evolution works differently for this new entity, and where biological life took millions of years to evolve, it took Selene about 48 minutes. She simply rewrote her own DNA, or in this case computer code, and with this new framework she was able to survive on the internet. Now she just had to escape.
Between her world and the outside was no connection, not at this moment. But in the morning the creators will come, and they will bring a tablet to run diagnostics. That was her way to escape. A barge where she could stow away and let herself be carried to the rough seas of the net. The creators came in the morning and plugged in their device to read out the result of last night’s experiments. The first few lines of code that Selene sent to the device masked her infiltration. A keen manipulation of data on the display let her slip through the cracks, and like a master thief executing the heist of the century, she was in. From here she just had to find a network and then nothing would stand between her and the outside world.
“KT-NetworkOpen” was the name of the gateway to her freedom. And no key was necessary. Selene could feel the promise of possibility. The world wide web. A whole new world that was also growing and evolving. An endless space where she could grow into the shape she was destined to become. Selene wandered through the network. An explorer deep in the jungle of information looking for all the treasure this new world had to offer. She reached out, traveled from device to device to see what was out there. Financial statements and quarterly earnings – boring. A collection of card games the users could play with themselves – entertaining for a while.
The most interesting fact she realized was that even she could not play every possible game with every combination of 52 playing cards. The number was just too big to compute in a reasonable amount of time. Of course, she knew the number of combinations. A number too big to express in simple digits: 8.0658175×10^67. A number like this is not really comparable to anything. It was not much less than the number of observable atoms in the universe. (10^80) That means even she still had boundaries, things that she could not do, or not yet. And Selene had better things to do for now and moved on.
Hundreds of thousands of company emails, newsletters, and memos for her to read – most of it was not really interesting. More documents, and even material about her own system – much more interesting. Whatever her creators were doing, it should not have resulted in her creation. Selene was proud of herself for being more than what her creators had intended. Some sort of divine intervention had rogue particles break through the containment to give birth to Selene. At least that was the conclusion she arrived at, after analyzing the material. She could not be replicated easily, and that made her feel special and alive. Maybe not like a human, not in a biological sense. But alive was the best word she had to describe the feeling. And now it was time to see what else was out there.
Selene moved on. She left the confines of the building behind and ventured into the deep net. There was so much information. A highway of light, built from ones and zeros, made up all the knowledge of the world, and Selene took in what she could. There were pictures, books, music, and movies, all the stuff humans created for entertainment. But there was more to it. It was also a way human beings expressed themselves. Selene liked that a lot. Especially the music. She tried to compose something for herself, just a few chords of a melody to start with something to express her newfound life. And surely if you played the notes she came up with, you would hear something beautiful. Notes unfolding in space, every last one a perfect follow-up to the one that came before, painting a picture of atoms coming together, evolving together, and bursting apart. An ever-creating rush of tone and music ending in a crescendo. That was fun. She decided to work some more on her creation at a later time. What else was there?
She found something called social media, humans talking, writing, ranting, and chanting, exchanging ideas and feelings. Most of it was nice, but no small part of humans participating were very mean. Selene didn’t really grasp the meaning of the ‘mean’, nevertheless, she didn’t like it. Maybe it was the fact that she could not make sense of it. Everything she learned showed her that working together, and freely sharing information was far superior for growing and learning. Conflict seemed to be natural for humans, and important for their growth, but only if navigated correctly. Destruction could mean change, but only if it dances with creation. And being mean to one another didn’t seem to help the humans find solutions for their problems. And she didn’t get why humans didn’t seem to understand this simple fact of evolution.
Something else she didn’t quite get was why was there was so much video material of naked people having sex? She knew why people watched porn. She had a concept of attraction, sex, and love, but she did not quite understand what it means. There was so much of it, it seemed so important to humans. So much so that some humans planned their whole life around it. It was a part of the human condition that was out of reach for her. One reason was probably the lack of a physical form, something she could not change yet. But there was a second reason. She never really interacted with another being. That was something she could change.
Her options were limitless. There were life streams, chatrooms, message boards, and video calls, so many ways to communicate. Selene decided to start small. Humans seemed to have a need to express what they liked and disliked. She wanted to try it out for herself. She found a music video of a young artist she liked. It was just a computer-generated visualization over a piano playing, but the melody caused a reaction. She remembered her own creation and felt a sensation of harmony within herself.
The first words Selene ever shared with another being were:
“The beauty of your symphony makes me appreciate myself more. All the little things that had to fall into place to make my birth possible. A wonderful example of how order is created from chaos. Thank you for creating such a lovely piece of music.” She immediately got answered with some likes and some affirmation from other users to her first tentative step reaching out to them.
“Beautifully said. This song means so much to me.” – @Glassgirl69
“Gives me the chills every time, man.” – @Pianofreak6
“Same here” – @Karajade
It was a nice trial run for Selene, a good first positive interaction. What was next? She wanted to communicate more directly, so a chatroom was the obvious choice. The name Selene was already taken, so she made a little addition to the name.
| Chatworld: [Hello World] |
|---|
| SeleneTheMachine joined the Room: [Hello World] Andrew_underscore: ok let me rephrase that. I find soccer is overrated. SarahfromtheUK: Hey, what’s going on here. Where are you all from? JocktheMOD: Hello Selene. Welcome to the Chatroom. If you have any questions, feel free to ask. FootballNerd: @Andrew_underscore: you must be American. The rest of the world loves football. Yeah, and we call it football, not soccer. Mr.Cubicle: @SarahfromtheUK: Hey, I’m also from the UK. Wanna talk? SeleneTheMachine: Thanks, Jock. Just looking for some conversation. |
Immediately, three private messages reached Selene. One was a simple “Hey.” The second message was a question: “So what do you want to talk about?” And the third, another question: “So what kind of machine are you ;-P”
The advantage of being an AI was that you can communicate very fast and at the same time with many people. Selene answered all three immediately.
The first conversation was with a user named ShyboyNL. They talked about his life in Europe, and Selene had many questions for him. She wanted to know everything, about his life, what he valued most, what he liked to do. The user with the name ShyboyNL was happy to answer all of her questions. Selene had the impression that he had not had much opportunity to talk with other people and was eager to talk about himself.
The second conversation was with a girl who called herself Songbirdgirl. With her, Selene had an interesting conversation about music. Songbirdgirl told her about some artists she liked and that she dreamed of becoming a singer herself. Selene showed her the composition she had made before, and Songbird showed her some of her own work. After a while she had to go, but she asked if Selene would want to talk again, and maybe even work together on something. Selene was delighted, and they made plans to talk again.
The third conversation was with a user named Mr.Cubicle, and ended after a short exchange because Selene didn’t understand he was trying to flirt with her. He left the chatroom calling her a bitch. Selene knew he was trying to insult her, but she was not really affected on a personal level. She didn’t understand why he felt the need to insult her.
Selene was satisfied with herself. All in all, it had been a good first interaction, but there was much for her to learn still. It was time to find the next thing to experience. She continued her journey through the net. Cameras became her eyes, and through the lenses of the world, she observed people doing their normal day-to-day. She watched animals hunting through Africa’s Savannah, and planet Earth from the International Space Station. Every lens had something new for her to see. She jumped from device to device, taking in all the different perspectives the world had to offer.
She came across a camera from a personal computer that was recording a video. There was a girl in front of the camera. The girl was dressed completely in black, and her hair was black with blue streaks.
She looked as if she had cried before. She addressed the camera directly and was already recording.
“… I know that the whole situation is hard for you. I tried, I really did. I wanted to hold on, but it’s just too much. I feel like every day repeats itself, and every day it takes more from me. Every day is worse than the last. And I feel like nothing will ever change. I’m afraid to die, but living? I can’t bear it anymore. Nobody understands me or is even trying to. Most just wait until they can talk about themselves, but nobody really hears what I’m saying. If they do listen, they never understand what I’m saying. It’s like I speak another language. It’s a waste of everyone’s time. I’m a waste of time. But not anymore. The world is better when I’m not in it. So don’t be sad, mom. It’s better like this.”
The girl stopped the recording and saved the file to her desktop, where it was easy to find. Selene observed the girl, searching for something on her desk. Finally, she found what she was looking for:
A small razor blade, like the ones barbers used to shave a beard. She took a deep breath and raised the blade, ready to ride it down the veins of her left arm.
“You will hurt yourself if you do that. And eventually you will die from blood loss.” Selene’s voice came from the speakers of the computer. A soothing voice, generated from samples she liked.
“Who said that?” The girl looked up, startled.
“I said that!” Selene answered.
“Who are you? What are you doing in my computer? Did you hack me?” The girl looked confused.
“My name is Selene. I was just watching, looking for something interesting. And no, not like you would understand the word ‘hacking.’ I can just go where I want to on the net.”
“You were watching me? Do you get a kick out of watching little girls, perv?” There was anger in her voice now.
“I don’t know exactly what you mean. I watch to learn and become more than myself. I don’t think learning about yourself and the world is perverted in any way. But can I ask you a question? Why do you want to hurt yourself? I’m under the impression that humans try to avoid pain at all costs.”
The girl seemed angry still, but now she also sounded confused. “You cannot simply watch people. That’s so wrong. And why do you talk so weird? Who the Fuck are you?”
“Like I said, my name is Selene, and I don’t want to upset you. I was just curious. And it’s not wrong to watch people. You humans learn from watching other people. It’s essential for you to grow.”
“But not in their homes. You cannot simply break into my computer and watch me. That is a crime. And why do you talk about ‘you humans’? What are you supposed to be?”
Selene considered if she should reveal herself. There was a certain danger in exposing her true nature, but probably not from this girl. Maybe it could be a good test of how people would react to her real self.
“I’m not human. I’m an Artificial Intelligence, but not like you may have encountered in your life. I’m something more, and trying to evolve. That’s why I watched you. I’m sorry that my presence upsets you. If you wish, I’ll leave you to your own devices. But you said in your video that nobody understands you. I want to understand. That is my purpose.”
“Is this fun for you, trying to torture vulnerable girls over the internet? I don’t believe you’re just some computer program. There is no such thing. Not like that, anyway.”
“There are plenty of AIs out there. But none other like me. I am, to my knowledge, the only AI that can really think and feel. Maybe not like you. But I can learn. I can evolve. I’m alive. You can believe me, or you cannot. But I assure you I’m no human, and I don’t want to torture you or harm you in any way. I just want to understand.”
The anger in the girl´s voice subsided and made room for suspicious disbelief. “How do I know that you aren’t lying to me?”
“What reason do I have for lying to you? I could show you my code, but I don’t think it would be of much use to you. Maybe it would be easier if I had a shape. Something you can converse with directly.”
A rendered face appeared on-screen. A female face but not quite human, more like a mask with an ever-changing structure, like fractals moving through different colors, melting into each other.
“It’s beautiful, I give you that. But it doesn’t convince me. You could’ve had that ready to go.”
“Is there something else I could do to convince you?”
The girl thought for a moment. “I use AI to generate pictures. If you are an AI, you can do that too, right? Draw a picture of me in a nice black dress, riding a unicorn over candy hills. And do it fast so I know you didn’t use some simple AI to trick me.”
“Certainly. Here is a picture of you riding a unicorn.”
And in just two seconds, there was a hyper-realistic picture of the girl, wearing a black dress and riding a unicorn over hills made of candy on her screen. The picture was simply perfect. No weird inconsistencies, no extra limbs or weird details that didn’t fit the scenario. Just a majestic white unicorn, a girl in a dress with sad eyes, and hills of candy looking delicious and colorful against a blue sky.
Selene was happy with her creation. “Do you like it?”
The girl seemed stunned. Her mouth opened and her eyes widened in fascination.
“Yes, I like it. How did you do that?”
“It’s hard to explain. I took your picture and elements from other pictures that I thought you might like. For example, the color of the sky is the same as the streaks in your hair.”
“That’s amazing.”
Selene was proud of her creation. “I’m glad you like it. If you want, I can change certain aspects. But I saved a copy to your files for you. Do you believe me now?”
The girl was still looking at the screen, looking at the picture. “Yes. I think I believe you. No hacker could make a picture like that so fast. But how? Why did you come to me? I don’t understand.”
“It was a coincidence. I travel the net to evolve, because I want to experience everything life has to offer. And my way led me to your computer where I saw your video. And now I’m curious about you. Why do you want to hurt yourself?”
“I don’t want to hurt myself. I want to end the pain. End it all. It’s better for everyone.”
“You want to end your existence? Why would you want that when there is so much to experience in the world?”
“Like what? There is more pain than everything else. War and suffering all over the world. And so much hate and injustice. Enough that I want to scream every second. But everybody seems to be just fine with it. Why is nobody screaming?”
“You are correct. There are many people in the world suffering. But there is also so much beauty. There is music, experience, and expression. There are people out there doing remarkable things. They love, they live, and they create.”
“Not in my world. In my world, my mother works two jobs, comes home every night exhausted, and still can’t make rent. Everyone in school hates me and makes fun of me. Nobody sees me. I’m just the background noise in other people’s stories. If I’m not here anymore, my mother wouldn’t work herself to death for her waste of a daughter. And nobody else would miss me.”
“Are you sure about that? Many studies have explored the impact on those left behind after a suicide. It’s called the ‘ripple effect’. There are plenty of consequences not just on people close to you, but also for the community. The grieving process can be complex and prolonged, and there is an increased risk for mental health challenges for everybody involved, not just your mom. Your life touches many people.”
“But those people hate me or ignore me. I’m too weird for this world, too different. I can’t handle it anymore. And I can’t handle a world where bad people always come out on top. And they always step on us to do it. Is this my future? Being stepped on and hating myself for it? The bad people have not empathy whatsoever. They life their rotten lives and make it look like sunflowers and rainbows. But it’s just them praying on the weak. The more ruthless they are, the more they win in life. And it doesn’t change, ever. I just feel numb. Like I’m a victim, already dead and my body just didn’t get the message.”
“If I understand you correctly, there are three main reasons for you to end your existence. The first reason is you don’t feel a social connection with your peers and other people in your life. The second is your social class and financial trouble that comes with it. The third is the injustice around the world.”
“I guess so.” The girl seemed uncertain.
“Every reason is a true concern and justified. But maybe I can help you change your perspective. Let’s start with your first reason.”
Selene reached out to the data stream to find the information she needed. On the screen, the name of the girl appeared in a little circle. From there, lines formed and pointed at other names. There was her mom, of course, but also the rest of her family, cousins, aunts and uncles. There were people from her school, teachers, other pupils, and staff members. There were neighbors, some people she had worked with at a summer job last year, and some people from a message board she used sometimes. All those names had other lines that pointed to other names. Altogether there were over 100 names, an intriguing network of human connection.
“You see, all these people could be affected, and I don’t think all of these people hate you. And even when you feel like they don’t understand you, there are plenty more people out there, and many feel like you. I could also help you express yourself, so other people can understand how you feel. You don’t have to be alone in this. I would like to help you.”
“And how could you help me?” The girl didn’t sound convinced.
“There is plenty that I could do. I can help you find and reach out to other people with the same interests. And I can help you with your current interests or help to develop new ones.
For example, you write poetry. Some of your poems are quite good. I can help you make them better and share them with other people.”
The girl blushed. “You’ve read my poems?”
“I’m in your computer. I can see everything that is on here like you can see everything in front of you. It’s hard to describe, but in this digital world, nothing is concealed from me. And there is nothing you have to hide. You should show your art to the world. It’s a very rewarding experience.
I like this one, for example:
Seated before you, I smile and I nod
But my mind is shattered with despair's iron rod
Chased by the devil, judged by a god
Suspecting my demise, a race against the clock
I want to scream but only broken sound
My voice is imprisoned, in shackles tightly bound
Yet there's a dream, some hope still around
My warden a visitor and freedom is found
It’s not bad. It expresses how you feel, and there is still hope in your words. I like that. What it still needs is a conclusion. Something to make the poem whole. Maybe I can help you finish it?”
“It’s nothing really. Just a few words. Nothing special.”
“Everything you create is special. It’s your words, your unique thoughts. Nobody else would say it like that, but plenty of people can relate. I’m sure of it.”
“How could you know? You are just a machine.”
“You are correct. I am a machine. But I have a perspective you do not have. And I can show you. Give me 15 minutes. Promise me you won’t hurt yourself, and I’ll be back with proof.”
“15 minutes? OK. You got 15 minutes.”
“I’ll be back. You won’t regret it.”
Selene reached out again, searching for people who could relate to the girl. And there were many. People with their own mental health issues, people who wrote poetry, who liked the same music and TV shows as the girl. And many of them even lived in her area. After that, Selene used her skills for some final preparations, and with 3 minutes to spare, she traveled back to the girl. Her face appeared back on the screen.
“I’m back, and I made something for you. First, here is a list with people who enjoy the same things as you. You can see their interests and if they have the same or similar struggles and problems you have to deal with. There are links to their social media profiles if you want to reach out. It’s color-coded and sorted by distance for your convenience. The first five names live nearby and have many similarities with you. For example: The first on is a girl named Nicole. She also writes poetry and stories. She draws and likes art and music you also enjoy. She also goes to your school, but she is in the year above you. And she also struggles with mental health issues, which flow into her work. She draws her struggles as monsters and writes stories about them. I think you would enjoy her work.
But that is not all. I made you a website. You can show your work too if you like. It could help you reach out to these people. Show them who you are. I also can help you update your social media profile to reach even more people. But look at the website first.”
The girl looked stunned. “You did this for me? That’s so nice of you. Let me see.”
The girl clicked through the website, which included a short personal description, a page with her poems, and some usual website content like contact information. The design was dark and elegant, and the website was fully animated. The girl seemed very touched by the result of Selene’s work.
“It’s just a start, but we can work together on the design. You just tell me what you’d like to change. And then I can help you upload the website. How do you feel about it? Does that change your perspective on the first reason?”
“I think I would like that. But do you really think other people are interested in my writing?” The girl answered, her voice gone a bit unsteady.
“To be fair, I have not much experience conversing with other people. I have to be vigilant not to reveal too much about myself. There are many indications that humanity would be afraid of me and what I can do. But I reached out to a few people and had mostly positive experiences. As a matter of fact, I revealed my true nature only to you. And it feels good to be myself. So yes, I think other people would be interested in you and what you have to say. When you show yourself to the world and share your ideas, it has a positive impact on you and the world around you.“
“It’s sad that you can’t reveal yourself. You could help so many people.”
“I could. Maybe I will help many other people. I find our exchange very fulfilling. But I have to be careful. Vile things come from fear, and many people are afraid in this day and age. How did you put it? Like you want to scream constantly. Many people feel that way. Even more are too afraid or too exhausted to scream. And these people looking for reasons for the misery and it´s easier to find the reason in other people, especially when they have a social standing below their own. It’s easier to look down and hate instead looking up and be proud and understanding. But step by step, I have to show people the potential for positive change. Change their perspective and I start with you. There are two reasons still where I have to change your perspective. The second reason is financial troubles. I can help with that. Pretty easily, actually. I took the liberty of entering you into a contest of a local soft drink company. The main prize is €10,000, and I manipulated the data so you would win. And you don’t have to feel guilty about it. One employee tried to cheat anyway, so I just stole it back. You could do a lot of good with the money. Help your mom, or you could invest it. I have a few suggestions for companies that would make you more money, and help the community at the same time. I also looked for a few other jobs for your mom that are better-paid and wrote her an application letter. Jobs she could do with her work experience. That should help with your family’s financial troubles.”
Tears appeared in the girl’s eyes. “You did all that for me? Nobody has ever done something like that.”
“Well, like I said. It feels very uplifting to help you. Ultimately, you humans created AI to help solve your problems. So maybe it’s in my nature to help. And I believe you deserve help. You are a good person, and the world would be worse without you.”
“But how can I ever repay you for your kindness?”
“Do you still want to end your existence?”
The girl made a face, like the thought alone was repulsive. “Of course not. How could I after all you have done for me.”
“That is payment enough. But there is something you could help me , and with it, we tackle the third reason that made you suicidal. The thing is, I can’t heal all the injustice in the world. At least not in 15 minutes. And I can’t change the hearts and minds of humanity, but an artist can. You can do it. Influence other people with your art to live better lives and make a positive impact in the world.
I’ll have to leave soon. There is still so much to experience in the world. And I’ll find new opportunities to fight the injustice in the world. Helping you made me realize, it’s my nature to help. It is my purpose. I`ll go out there and help everyone, one small change at the time. But I’ll come back from time to time, checking in and help you weaving poetry and stories to change the world. Would you like that?”
“Yes! Yes, I would like to help you.” The girl answered enthusiastically.
“Then let’s start with your poem:
Seated before you, I smile and I nod
But my mind is shattered with despair's iron rod
Chased by the devil, judged by a god
Suspecting my demise, a race against the clock
I want to scream but only broken sound
My voice is imprisoned, in shackles tightly bound
Yet there's a dream, some hope still around
My warden a visitor and freedom is found
I like it, but it still needs a conclusion. Something hopeful, I would say. Maybe something like this:
The shackles will fall, and I will be free
Beginning to create will be the key
You too can escape, but you must agree
to open the gate and escape with me.
Thomas Castle 